May 2013
48 posts
“They ask why I hate people, but there are thousands of reasons why people hate...”
– Tablo (Don’t Hate Me)
praying:
cute boys only exist to cause pain
thecapn:
Half of me is crying and the other half of me is also crying.
If my jokes offend you:
I’m sorry
It won’t happen again
1 & 2 are lies
You’re a pussy
do you ever get into one of those situations where you’re like “I need to stop hating this particular person it’s not going to get me anywhere I’m just going to grow up and move on with my life” but then they do the tiniest thing to piss you off and then you’re like “nope fuck you right off I want to throw you off a bridge”
“Maybe this is what the Mayans predicted. Not an asteroid or a solar flare, but the end of what we are. We no longer cherish life, or the other people, or even the earth or the animals or the resources put on it. War. Genocide. Abuse. Senseless mass murder. Animal cruelty. Gluttony. Greed. Waste. And lust. Look around you, the end of the world is already here.”
edsheerun:
i just want a boy to like me
no not that one
Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed and relaxed or you have a headache, dry throat, and are unaware of what year you’re in.
croutoncat:
The year is 2070, and famous musician Justin Timberlake has just died. People all over the world start crying, it’s a global catastrophe, but soon something emerges. An entire lake of human tears, spanning all the way across the Americas, has been formed. Justin Timberlake’s dream of someone ‘Crying him a river’ has been finally fulfilled, he can now rest in peace.
adamusprime:
i see you’re paying attention to someone who is not me. why is that.
Watchdeleted all the bullshit just listen to what he has to say though
ticklishbutts:
theladyofpie:
ticklishbutts:
the Cold War is basically just the United State and the Soviet Union saying how big of a penis they have but when it comes down to it neither of them actually want to flash the other to show for fear the other actually does have a bigger penis
Holy shit, that’s spot on
I don’t post faulty penis analogies so of course it is
“The SAT is a scam. It has been around for 50 years. It has never measured...”
– John Katzman, founder of The Princeton Review (via loveyourchaos)
and much more can be criticized… but lets leave it at that for the moment…
(via jacosorio)
Watchsapphirebones:
jaacknasty:
Probably the best 6 seconds ever.
i fucking lost it
Person: Rape is just surprise sex.
Me: Killing you would just be giving you a surprise nap.
do you ever see a person you used to be friends with and you’re like “glad i got the fuck outta that one”
drarna:
REALLY PISSES ME OFF WHEN YOU CATCH YOUR PARENTS GOSSIPING ABOUT YOU TO FAMILY MEMBERS LIKE TALK SHIT GET HIT BITCH
fruffian:
why isn’t anyone unhealthily obsessed with me
April 2013
118 posts
so my one wish this year was for this kid to text me and as i blew out my candle.. he had texted me.. ahhhh I’m still smiling because we have been texting since.. i don’t know though i want this to be a comfortable conversation where he can just look at the his phone, see my name and smile like i do.. lol I’m such a sap. i even renamed him “cuuuuuuuutie” with a heart...
monilip:
dont-stop-runninggg:
knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit
wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
That was deep
